Ready for Change

Recently I have been going "full steam ahead" with my job search for a new job (I started looking over a month ago but have been actively applying for about a week or two now). I am completely over med-surg- yes most of my colleagues are great but I dread going to work just about every shift, am tired of the high patient load, annoying family members, and having to document for a couple of hours after running around all day. Things are even worst now with the mass exodus of nurses from my unit lately who left for other areas because they themselves have probably had enough or wanted change. I certainly feel bad for wanting to leave as my timing is pretty bad but I am not happy and I am starting to doubt whether I made the right decision to leave my previous career (OK I know long-term I made the right choice but I really have to remind myself sometimes). At this time I am still working the two jobs but I would ultimately like to obtain full-time employment in a non med-surg position and retain my per-diem job.

Starting over, again

One thing that I hate about starting a new job is starting over again, which means "new nurse" anxiety, decreased seniority, figuring out new people, etc. Sure a part of me is excited about the prospect of doing something "new" but it also nerve racking too. Also since I have a family, adjusting to a new job means my entire family has to adjust as well, since my decisions with work always affects my husband and children. 

What if I don't like it?

Seriously what if I get another job and dislike it as much as my current job or maybe more? Do I start job hopping all over the place. I am all about being happy but it isn't practical (nor is it advisable) to change jobs so often. If I get another job I didn't care for I would have to stick it out since I have to consider my retirement as well.

4 to 5 day work week

Most outpatient/non-med surg jobs (besides the ER) are 4 or 5 day work weeks; with a per-diem job, it will probably be 5 or 6 days some weeks. While I can tolerate a 4-day work week (that is what I was essentially doing when I started my second job) I really would like to avoid 5 days if at all possible. I love having at least one day off during the week to take care of business and having a "9 to 5" means not participating in anything my kids have during the week. Also since I am still the primary homemaker, having more days off gives me more time to actually be a homemaker as I refuse to do these things after working so many hours in a day.

May stick with 3 twelves

My ideal would be 3 twelves in a non- med/surg position that is day shift (yes it is taxing on the body but I am off 4 days a week) . Are these available? I haven't seen them really but would really like something like that I think. We will see in the next coming months.   

New RN- One Year Update

It has been over a year since I began working as a RN and I all I can say is, what a ride! I still feel those pangs of anxiety (or dread) before most shifts and I am still not confident in all my skills and knowledge, although I would say with the passage of time there are obviously some improvements. By all accounts I should be feeling super confident at this point in my career but alas I don't, at least not fully. Lately I have been reflecting on my experience these past 14 months and am currently in the process of improving my situation somehow.

Why am I still a nervous wreck?

Honestly I don't know but I am pretty sure it has a lot to do with the fact that I am responsible for people's lives? I also feel that the constant "rushing" (particularly in med-surg where a 1:7 to 8 ratio plus an admission or two has become the norm) is completely contrary to my meticulous nature. To make matters worse I never leave on time when I work in the hospital, ever (I can only recall one instance where I left on time and I was actually floated to another unit). I am also still part-time so technically I am "less experienced" than my full-time counterparts and feel I have to do a little more to "catch up to speed."

What about ambulatory care?

Ambulatory care was going well, or at least so I thought. I am still per-diem but I was working close to 20 hours per week so I essentially didn't need to work full-time in the hospital and I had the extra money without the extra stress. Unfortunately my hours have been more inconsistent and sporadic lately, which in turn makes skill development even more difficult than they are in the hospital. Full-time prospects, at least at my current location, no longer seem to be a possibility any more which is not only disappointing but has left pondering what my next options are (I still would like to retain my per-diem gig but need to obtain full-time hours at a "main" job).

What are my goals/plans for this year?

For one, I want to work on my time management. This is something that I struggle with even one year later (I am organized for the most part but there is not enough hours to do what needs to be done and actually document it). I need to control my anxiety too but it hasn't decreased much in a year (I would like to avoid resorting to anti-anxiety meds but if things don't get better in year 2 I will consider it). At this time I am currently looking to leave med-surg nursing as I do not feel it is the best fit for me but I am once again limited by the fact that I cannot do overnight shifts.  

MSN any time soon?

Probably not. My brain is still fried from nursing school almost 2 years later and I am not in the right frame of mind at this time to return to school anyway. My main focus right now is making more money, finding my niche (or at least an area of nursing I can tolerate and grow in), and hone my skills. I am tired of feeling like I am all over the place.