Ready for Change

Recently I have been going "full steam ahead" with my job search for a new job (I started looking over a month ago but have been actively applying for about a week or two now). I am completely over med-surg- yes most of my colleagues are great but I dread going to work just about every shift, am tired of the high patient load, annoying family members, and having to document for a couple of hours after running around all day. Things are even worst now with the mass exodus of nurses from my unit lately who left for other areas because they themselves have probably had enough or wanted change. I certainly feel bad for wanting to leave as my timing is pretty bad but I am not happy and I am starting to doubt whether I made the right decision to leave my previous career (OK I know long-term I made the right choice but I really have to remind myself sometimes). At this time I am still working the two jobs but I would ultimately like to obtain full-time employment in a non med-surg position and retain my per-diem job.

Starting over, again

One thing that I hate about starting a new job is starting over again, which means "new nurse" anxiety, decreased seniority, figuring out new people, etc. Sure a part of me is excited about the prospect of doing something "new" but it also nerve racking too. Also since I have a family, adjusting to a new job means my entire family has to adjust as well, since my decisions with work always affects my husband and children. 

What if I don't like it?

Seriously what if I get another job and dislike it as much as my current job or maybe more? Do I start job hopping all over the place. I am all about being happy but it isn't practical (nor is it advisable) to change jobs so often. If I get another job I didn't care for I would have to stick it out since I have to consider my retirement as well.

4 to 5 day work week

Most outpatient/non-med surg jobs (besides the ER) are 4 or 5 day work weeks; with a per-diem job, it will probably be 5 or 6 days some weeks. While I can tolerate a 4-day work week (that is what I was essentially doing when I started my second job) I really would like to avoid 5 days if at all possible. I love having at least one day off during the week to take care of business and having a "9 to 5" means not participating in anything my kids have during the week. Also since I am still the primary homemaker, having more days off gives me more time to actually be a homemaker as I refuse to do these things after working so many hours in a day.

May stick with 3 twelves

My ideal would be 3 twelves in a non- med/surg position that is day shift (yes it is taxing on the body but I am off 4 days a week) . Are these available? I haven't seen them really but would really like something like that I think. We will see in the next coming months.   

New RN- One Year Update

It has been over a year since I began working as a RN and I all I can say is, what a ride! I still feel those pangs of anxiety (or dread) before most shifts and I am still not confident in all my skills and knowledge, although I would say with the passage of time there are obviously some improvements. By all accounts I should be feeling super confident at this point in my career but alas I don't, at least not fully. Lately I have been reflecting on my experience these past 14 months and am currently in the process of improving my situation somehow.

Why am I still a nervous wreck?

Honestly I don't know but I am pretty sure it has a lot to do with the fact that I am responsible for people's lives? I also feel that the constant "rushing" (particularly in med-surg where a 1:7 to 8 ratio plus an admission or two has become the norm) is completely contrary to my meticulous nature. To make matters worse I never leave on time when I work in the hospital, ever (I can only recall one instance where I left on time and I was actually floated to another unit). I am also still part-time so technically I am "less experienced" than my full-time counterparts and feel I have to do a little more to "catch up to speed."

What about ambulatory care?

Ambulatory care was going well, or at least so I thought. I am still per-diem but I was working close to 20 hours per week so I essentially didn't need to work full-time in the hospital and I had the extra money without the extra stress. Unfortunately my hours have been more inconsistent and sporadic lately, which in turn makes skill development even more difficult than they are in the hospital. Full-time prospects, at least at my current location, no longer seem to be a possibility any more which is not only disappointing but has left pondering what my next options are (I still would like to retain my per-diem gig but need to obtain full-time hours at a "main" job).

What are my goals/plans for this year?

For one, I want to work on my time management. This is something that I struggle with even one year later (I am organized for the most part but there is not enough hours to do what needs to be done and actually document it). I need to control my anxiety too but it hasn't decreased much in a year (I would like to avoid resorting to anti-anxiety meds but if things don't get better in year 2 I will consider it). At this time I am currently looking to leave med-surg nursing as I do not feel it is the best fit for me but I am once again limited by the fact that I cannot do overnight shifts.  

MSN any time soon?

Probably not. My brain is still fried from nursing school almost 2 years later and I am not in the right frame of mind at this time to return to school anyway. My main focus right now is making more money, finding my niche (or at least an area of nursing I can tolerate and grow in), and hone my skills. I am tired of feeling like I am all over the place. 

Ambulatory Care Nursing

After several months of applying to various positions at different facilities, I was offered a per diem RN position in an ambulatory care setting! Yeah I know I've only been a RN for like 5.2 seconds but remember I am only employed part-time, leaving room for me to work elsewhere to supplement both my income and experience. It wasn't easy since I lack ambulatory care experience and I am still a relatively new nurse still developing my practice but I was honest about my experience and knowledge, and apparently sold myself at the interview. Interestingly enough my very first interview for an RN job was at a large outpatient clinic but I was hesitant to begin my nursing career there since I felt it was imperative to have at least some acute care experience before going the outpatient/ambulatory route. Now, roughly a year later (I interviewed for the job right before taking NCLEX last year) I find myself trying to transition to ambulatory care, perhaps a little sooner than I initially anticipated. Since the position is per diem, I will be maintaining my current med/surg position while I work in outpatient practice which is cool since I will have a mix of experience (not to mention I keep my current position for at least a year) which I feel looks better to potential employers. I was told the position could potentially lead to full-time in the future but even if it doesn't, this opportunity will at the very least allow me to explore working in an ambulatory care setting with less commitment and more flexibility (the employer could say the same!). I start orientation next month.

Is Ambulatory Care for Me?

Quite frankly, I don't know. In my pediatric clinical in school, I worked in a peds clinic and although some areas appealed to me (like triage/walk-in, patient education), some aspects of working in the clinic seemed a little boring to me (I also have experience volunteering at a health fair which I loved but don't know if that counts for ambulatory experience). Ambulatory care however is so varied and it's hard to use my one time experience to determine whether or not I would enjoy working in a clinic setting for adults. What I do know is that the days and hours I will potentially work would be less than the 13+ hour days I work at the hospital, will never work Sundays there  (since the clinic is not open on Sundays), and the clinic is part of a large hospital system that could potentially expose me to other acute or ambulatory care opportunities in the future if that's where my spirit leads me. I am also realizing that management of chronic conditions seem more appealing to me now than the unpredictability of acute conditions in the hospital (I guess working in critical care is no longer an ideal option for me?). I am cautiously optimistic about my new position but optimistic nonetheless.

On my Own

I have been on my own now for over 5 months now it's going OK, I guess. Overall things are a little better but progress is slower than I'd like it to be. I still leave late most shifts (I usually leave about 45 minutes to an hour after my shift) and there are times when I feel overwhelmed (my meticulous nature has a hard time adjusting to being pulled in multiple directions constantly). I still feel dumb now and then and make mistakes (nothing life threatening thank God) but there are also moments where I feel like I am helpful and actually know something. My critically thinking still needs tweaking but there is evidence of improvement. I still don't love or even like med/surg nursing and I am sure I will not be doing it in my 40s (which starts next year by the way) but I would be lying if I said I wasn't learning a lot. All and all this is how I would break down my nearly 9 months of experience as a registered nurse:

The Good:
Most of my coworkers seem to be cool and decent people, especially those that work day shift which makes going to work more bearable. This is not to say that "nurses eating their young"  doesn't exist, it's just that my interactions with coworkers, both fellow RNs and support staff has been more positive than negative.

Med/surg nursing, despite it's very fast-paced and varied nature (think 1:7 most shifts, excluding admissions/transfers), is still a good place to start a nursing career even if just for a short time

My schedule is the $%#*! Having 5 days off (or 4 days when I pick up an extra shift) allows me to do a lot at home and be more involved with my kids which was much harder when I worked 5 days and when I was in school. I can easily schedule appointments, run errands during business hours, etc. during my off days.

I am getting my initial experience working in a hospital, which is what I wanted and probably needed.

Even though I work part-time, it's still a day position which is not easy to get as a new RN.

As long as I get to work on time (which is all the time, to date) I get free, easy parking. If I worked in the city, this would probably be a luxury.

The Bad:
I work part-time, which not only means less money but also less experience than full-timers.

I am still anxious and overwhelmed before and during my shifts. I even notice an increase in my anxiety level the day before my shift. I often wonder will it ever get better.

My hourly pay is less than most hospitals in the the city/Long Island, I am not in a unionized hospital, and I am not sure if I see myself setting "roots" where I am now.

I almost never leave on time because I am doing the documentation I had no time to do during my shift. Giving hand off report also can take forever since you usually are giving hand off to multiple nurses.

When I work I am literally out of the house for like 15 hours/day since I leave the house around 6 am and don't get home until close to 9 pm.

I need close to a day to "recover" from my long shift since it is taxing on my body. I can also forget about doing anything else on my work day other than eating (barely), sleeping, and showering.

Some providers can be @#$holes. Most are not but the ones that are usually let their superiority complexes get in the way of what is best for the patient. Humility goes a long way!


The Ugly:
The nurse seems to get blamed for and is expected to do everything, even things beyond their control (like the time a patient goes to a procedure or if a patient refuses treatment or when a provider fails to update patient/family member on patient's health status and you have to track them down like a detective). Nurses have to deal with the brunt of frustration from patients, family members, providers and even other staff members.

Running a hospital like it's a hotel or restaurant makes an already difficult job even harder (I still don't get the whole "VIP" thing since I was under the impression that all patients should be given the same level of quality care but I digress)

Family members can be a lot. Seriously. I get their concern and the need for involvement (as it should be) but when they start telling you how to do your job or they get so much in the way that you can't, well, do your job, it actually can impede patient progress and takes away precious time from all the other #$&* you have to do for your 6 (or possible more) patients.

Recently, I have been offered a per diem RN job to supplement my income and to hopefully expose me to a new environment as well a different set of skills. Will this new job lead to my nursing niche? Only time will tell.

I Don't Like Being a RN

I have completed 5 weeks of my 12 week RN orientation and I can honestly say, I don't like being a nurse, at least not yet. My previous career was mentally stressful but as a hospital RN I am both mentally and physically exhausted at the end of my shift. I feel completely inadequate and dumb and second guess myself every single time. I was a strong student in my clinical rotations but that experience did not fully prepare for being a RN on a nursing unit. Even my experience as a unit clerk, while extremely helpful, did not prepare me adequately for working on a unit in a RN role. Nurses I have spoken to have said that at some point (anywhere between 6 months to a year) I should feel more comfortable and confident but nursing is not the bed of roses that people may think it is. There is a steep learning curve and a lot of "politics" behind the scene that is every bit as much a part of nursing as patient care is. Nurses work hard for their money and don't always get the respect or acknowledgement they deserve.

First off let me say that I enjoy patient care. Sure there are things that I don't particularly care for (wound care and over-bearing family members to name a few) but for the most part I seem to be comfortable dealing with patients as long as I know what the hell I am doing and many seem to be forgiving about the fact that I am still a new RN. I like my patients to feel comfortable and do what I can to make their hospital stay less dreadful, when practical. Despite the long and exhausting hours, I love only working/training just three days a week (which will be two days once I am on my own) and having days off during the week is truly the bomb! Even though my hourly salary is lower than other hospitals it is doubled the amount I was making as a clerk and about a third more than my previous career, not to mention my commute is tolerable. My issue is having so much to do in so little time, high liability and the fact that I feel constantly rushed even though I am still not comfortable with things (my preceptor is very efficient which is great but her focus seems to be more about getting out on time than me understanding $%#&). Working at a constantly fast past doesn't always allow me to process information properly. Documentation, while necessary, is still a @#$%& and takes away from actual patient care.The team work between ancillary staff, nurses, and even providers is occasionally lacking, which is frustrating when I need to get things done. Not sure if that is unit specific or if this is a theme in many nursing units or if all hospitals have this in some capacity but it's annoying to deal with "drama" when I am more than willing to be a team player and others not so much. All of this and I don't even have a full patient load yet! Now I see why some new grads end up having anxiety, depression, or burnout early in the game or why turnover rate tends to be high. For those new grads who work the overnight shifts, this issue is probably exacerbated with having to adjust their body to a different schedule in addition to everything else. 

My hopes were to post about this wonderful orientation experience I was having and how grateful I am for changing careers but alas that is not the case. Hopefully as my comfort level increases and my time management improves I can have more positive things to say. As far as me leaving nursing? Not gonna happen. I will be a RN in some capacity until I retire which won't be for another 25-27 years. No more career changing for me! The good news is nursing is so broad that even if I find that after a year or two I simply can't get with the whole med-surg/bedside nursing I can take my experience and go elsewhere if need be.

My First RN Job!

After 4 different interviews at 3 different facilities, I was finally offered an RN position at my current hospital! It isn't critical care and it's part-time but I still think it's a great start, especially since it is day shift which makes my life and trying to figure out scheduling issues with hubby so much easier, although it is never "easy" when you are a working mother with school-aged children. I am also happy it is at my current hospital, despite mixed feedback from a few of my colleagues; the fact of the matter is that I am willing to take a lesser salary and "prestige" for easier commute and a better transition. I guess that is the difference between me now (late 30s) versus me then (20 something): me now can't deal with extra long commutes, not even for money. The position also has potential for full-time in the future and even if it doesn't, I suspect that there will be adequate opportunity to do OT to make full-time hours. Honestly the only real issue I have right now is the fact that I don't know when I start orientation. First I was told next month but then I was told it may be January, which is next year! All of this, and I am an internal candidate (I can only imagine the drama and confusion I'd have to deal with if I was an external candidate)! I have to remind myself that I am really blessed to even have a job offer at this point regardless of my actual start date but I can get impatient so I forget sometimes.

New RN in the House!

It's official: I am a Licensed Registered Professional Nurse! I have studied for weeks and not only did I pass my NCLEX exam on the first try but I did it in the minimum 75 questions which really shocked the hell out of me because I just knew I failed miserably! In any event, my spirit has been renewed and now more than ever I am determined to mold my new nursing career in a manner that I see fit, even if initially I have to work in an area or with a schedule that I am not happy with. I am sure that I was born for this, albeit later in life and now it's time for me to get back down to business and start applying for those JOBS! Sure I don't actually have my physical license yet (I have literally been a nurse for like 2 days as of this writing) but I I have proof that I am legit and that is certainly enough to get things started. To think almost 6 years ago this nursing thing was just a fleeting thought that I thought would pass and now here I am Miss RN, BSN. Go me!

Already Getting Frustrated

I know I only graduated last month but...can I be a nurse already? I actually went on my very first interview today for a RN position and although the interview seemed OK, the fact that I do not have a license, or even a scheduled exam date automatically knocks me out of the running. To make matters worse, I applied to at least 100 different RN positions at various locations (including my current hospital) at the advisement of one of my professors, only to be to be told by the few organizations that even acknowledged my resume to call back when I get my license. Uhhh!! I hate having to do this "process" all over again...I just want to skip the whole newbie foolishness and go straight to being a boss-ass nurse! I don't need to be humbled (been there, done that) I just need a J.O.B. in the occupation that I quit my previous job and went to school for. Is that too much to ask? OK my venting is over for now...

It's NCLEX Time!

I am officially a nursing school graduate! It's been one hell of a ride, but there are more challenges up ahead: NCLEX and getting that first RN job! I already know that once I receive my ATT, I am going to probably take the exam late September or early October because scheduling any later would mean procrastination and complacency. Many, if not most, of the jobs I am applying for also require me to already have the license to even be considered for an interview. Where do I want to work? Near home of course since the thought of sitting an hour plus in NYC travel makes me want to bang my head on a wall but that is limiting and I need to cast a w ide enough net so I have decided  to expand my search to all of the 5 boroughs (still on the fence about Staten Island), as well as Nassau and Suffolk County Long Island (not deep Suffolk though). I have also recently included nights into my search. Yeah I said it, I am willing to work nights since I realize that looking for day only positions as a "wet behind the ears" new grad is nigh impossible. Besides roughly 70% or more of available RN positions are indeed at night or seem to be. It would be difficult for me especially with hubby's weird and sometimes unpredictable schedule but like everything else thus far, I can make things work for my family, with some flexibility of course and nursing seems like it may be flexible enough. I have never worked nights before, ever, so if I do acquire a night position, I am pretty sure I will be in for a culture shock, at least initially. What areas am I looking to work in? I am open to almost anything (again I am a new grad so I probably have to be) but my "dream" position, if there were such a thing, would probably be in critical care. Why critical care? Well it's completely bad-ass for one. Secondly I think I would actually like the challenge despite how difficult and scary it might be. Unfortunately fresh green RN grads are completely clueless and sorely inexperienced to work in critical care without entry into some sort of critical care residency program. Right now I have my eyes on Northwell Health but it might be a long shot since every other RN or RN wannabe with their mama has their eyes on Northwell Health. I have to at least try though, right? Now let me go and attempt to study something NCLEX-related at some point today.

One More Month and I'm Out!

It's been awhile. Where do I begin? Well for starters, I am finished in a month. Yeah that right, ONE MONTH! The program was only 15 months but I have been on this journey for over 5 years and it's still a lot more to come! I am still proud of myself though because I wasn't sure if I had the guts to make the switch. I hope I like being a registered nurse because there will be no more career switching for me; I'm gonna be a nurse until forever! As for my last semester I had expected it to be kind of chilled but like everything else in my life, it's not that simple. Can I just say I'm frustrated? I guess everybody needs a job but let just say some take it way more serious than others and unnecessarily so but I digress...Plans after I graduate? That's easy enough, to get a JOB. Yeah I am already working technically but I meant full-time and as a RN. Do I feel prepared? No, but it seems that most people are not prepared for the real world of nursing since school is not like being in the field and emotionally I am all over the place! On the one hand I am excited to soon work in the field that I took years preparing for; on the other hand, I hate that I will be a newbie in my 30s making new grad mistakes (I am starting over basically) and could be potentially taking orders from cocky young bucks who could be my almost kids; or nurses who have been working at their jobs 30 years too long (and I am not referring to those brilliant and helpful experienced nurses who are the best teachers but those nurses who show no growth despite tenure and do everything half-ass). I am also trying to prepare for NCLEX, although this is proving more difficult than I anticipated since I spend the majority of my free time either studying, working, or living life. Worst case I will just wait until I am officially done to focus exclusively on NCLEX since it will probably be a couple of months after I am done to take the exam anyway.

Accelerated Nursing Programs and Nursing Externships Don't Mix!

One of the major benefits of an accelerated nursing program is that students who have already "been there, done that" can get a nursing degree faster, right? The degree is obtained faster not because there is less work in the curriculum but everything is condensed so students attend school year round, including summer, while traditional students are off. Fair trade off? Maybe, maybe not. The thing is, most summer externship programs for nursing students during the summer are full-time programs. This is fine for traditional students who are off during summer but for accelerated students, this is a big problem since 10 times out of 10 accelerated students are not only taking classes, but are probably doing so on a full-time basis. Why am I bringing this up then? Well as you know I am doing any and everything possible to gain as much health care experience as I can before I graduate because I don't want to be "caught out there" when I graduate (sorry just not trying to be one of those new grads spending  6 months to a year plus looking for my first nursing gig; I'm too damn old for that). Now the good thing is I do work in a hospital and my job is useful experience, but I would actually like to touch a patient, not to mention I didn't leave my desk job of over a decade to pursue a nursing career only to work another desk job but I digress. There were two summer externship programs that I felt could have been perfect for me, only to find out I will not qualify for either position since I cannot commit to a full-time work schedule (I actually had a phone interview with one of the organizations and the recruiter specifically told me this). Honestly it hurts and it's a little frustrating but I almost never give up so I will keep pushing until I find something that will give me good hands on experience and align with my interest until I am actually a RN.

So what can accelerated students do? My advice would be to obtain any per diem or part-time job in a hospital or healthcare organization, even if it isn't hands on. I would even go as far as to suggest getting a non-paid or volunteer position if it healthcare related (but that would be a last resort since I feel that broke adult students should be getting some sort of paycheck but again I digress). Why? because you have to do something to market yourself and you don't want to be "caught out there." Sure there is the whole option to relocate to where the jobs might be, blah, blah, blah, but if you are like me (and many accelerated and traditional nursing students are), uprooting your life is not even an option. Does all this guarantee a job within 3 months of graduation? No, but why not do what you can to increase your prospects? Now I am off to study and get back on my grind.

7 More Months until I Graduate Nursing School!

I can hardly believe that I am through the halfway mark of my accelerated nursing program and I will graduate in only 7 months! I am so excited but am definitely feeling that I am not prepared but that seems to be the theme with most nursing students I guess. Work so far has been good (still only working on weekends) but I am currently interested in getting into some sort of nursing externship this summer. There are some I will probably not even apply for like the NYU summer student nurse extern program, which requires a 3.5 GPA. The distance would also be a hinderance since it would require travel by train AND bus which I am not trying to do. The hospital I work at has an 8 week student nurse extern program as well and it only requires a 3.0 GPA (my current GPA is around 3.3). I already applied (the deadline is next week) but there are several complications that may knock me out of the running: the position is full-time (I am in an accelerated program and take classes in the summer) and the program is geared to students graduating in either December 2018 or May 2019. The program also requires nurse externs to follow their preceptors' schedule which means I may have to miss class on occasion, not to mention working nights which for me is a no go. My oldest child will be 14 this year and I am not sure if and how she will be able to help me with her younger siblings as she will have her own things to deal with. I also considered transferring into a more hands on position (i.e. PCT) but not sure how practical that would be since I will only have the job for a few months. Then there are nurse resident programs which allow you to orient right into a specialty unit like critical care, ER, or pediatrics. Sure they don't always pay as well as the regular RN positions but the experience would be invaluable. So many decisions and so little time! To think this time last year I had only been accepted into Downstate's accelerated program for a month and was questioning whether or not I even made the right choice. Time really flies.

Working Girl

As promised I obtained a per-diem job in a hospital. I currently work as a per-diem unit clerk in a hospital and although it doesn't give me the hands on patient care experience that I was looking for like a PCT, it has allowed me to get an in depth look at how a nursing unit functions as well as entry into healthcare (not to mention the daily drama nurses deal with). Right now I only work a couple of days a week which is doable for me this semester (in the summer there was no way in hell I could even work 1 day a week) and I hope that when the time comes to start applying for my first RN job I will get first "crack" at jobs in the hospital or even elsewhere. The pay, while a lot less than my previous job (and certainly less than that of an RN) is actually not that bad and it allows me to not put all of our expenses on hubby.

So what is a unit clerk anyway? A unit clerk or unit secretary is a person that deals with the "administrative" aspect of a nursing unit, such as answering phones, contacting physicians or other health care personnel (respiratory, pharmacy, etc.), organizing patient records as well patient tracking. Depending on the unit or hospital there may be additional functions; in smaller facilities some clerks are crossed-trained as PCT's. Is the unit clerk position difficult? In my opinion it isn't but you do need to have decent communication skills, some knowledge of medical terminology and equipment and be able to follow directions relatively well. You should also be able to work in a fast-paced environment. In essence your job is to make the nurses' job easier by doing mundane tasks so that they can actually have time to care for their patients and be nurses. Do some nurses take advantage of clerks? Sure but I don't care as long as I am doing tasks that are in my job description. My goal is to be the best unit clerk I can be so that when my time comes, I have lots of people who can vouch for my work ethics and be a reference for me.

Downstate: Some of the Pros and Cons

I finished summer session 1 and 2 in the accelerated program at Downstate and man was I exhausted! I thought I would use my time off (1 week) to clean and play catch up but I mostly rested, watched TV and spend time with the family. I really needed the time off because I swear since I started this program I have had more gray hairs on my head and my blood pressure continues to rise! I will say that my family adjusted relatively well to the changes that have occurred over the past few months; in fact, my kids and husband probably adjusted better than I did!

A few readers have contacted me regarding the program and since I have a little free time, I will discuss the pros, cons, and everything that I have experienced or have plans for up to this point.

Pros

Tuition- I estimate that my total loans for the program will be roughly $16, 000, which is quite manageable as long as I get full-time employment after graduation. My total loan will be higher since I still have a balance from the MSW program but even combined my entire loan balance will be no more than $25,000, which is still doable.

Cohorts- My cohorts, for the most part, are genuinely nice people. Some of them are really smart too! Seriously I would not know a lot of things going on if it wasn't for them. Not sure if it's because many (probably most) of them are younger than I am or what but they are definitely on top of their work! My cohorts look out for each other which may change once graduation approaches and there is competition for jobs but it isn't the cut throat environment I was told it might be.

Distance- Even though my first choice initially was Lehman, Lehman is actually farther than Downstate and rush hour traffic to the Bronx as opposed to Brooklyn would be worst; actually a lot worst (Cross Bronx Expressway any morning other than Sunday is a nightmare). Let's not talk about Stonybrook. I can't even imagine commuting 85- 90 miles per day to Stonybrook.

Failing a rarity - Most of professors are not out to fail students, even the ones whose teaching style I don't particularly care for or who I feel are inadequate instructors. As someone mentioned, the best students were already accepted so it isn't necessary to wean students out. Most students, also pass NCLEX the first time taken. So far only 1 student dropped out of the program to my knowledge and unless there is some extraordinary circumstance to cause another student to drop out, I feel confident that most of us will graduate.

Cons

Disorganization- This is probably the most annoying thing about Downstate. Keep in mind that I graduated from a CUNY school so I am no stranger to disorganization but I have never experienced this type of disorganization from any school I have attended, ever. This program has been around for sometime so I can't understand why it's not more organized (to be fair I hear this about other nursing programs, not sure why). I will not go into details but there were things that irked the hell out of me, and I am normally not a person that is easily frazzled. I honestly feel like these issues make the program harder than it needs to be.

"Hidden fees"- Another nuisance. I feel like every time I turn around, there is something that must be purchased, whether its a $300 book that I barely read or scrubs that I wore once but actually didn't need. OK I am exaggerating a bit but it would be nice to know the cost up front for everything so that I am not surprised. Sure I still won't want to pay but at least I get a heads up and can plan ahead. I am unemployed after all.

Parking- Parking in Brooklyn is @#$*y for lack of a better term.  There is a parking lot for students and employees which charges a reasonable fee but in order to get the parking passes I literally have to get up at the crack of dawn in another country and wait on line for almost 2 hours to purchase a pass at the school's bookstore since spots are limited. Did I mention that the waiting list for ongoing parking is 3 years long? I am not a fan of public transportation but I sometimes envy students who are only a 30 minute train ride away.

Overall I still feel like I don't know a whole lot more than when I started. I am a somewhat visual and hands on learner so sitting in a lecture hall for hours freezing while my knees get stiff is not conducive to effective learning or retention for me. I enjoy clinicals so far but wish there was more that students were allowed to do. I am now applying for per-diem jobs and even had a couple of interviews lined up but hubby doesn't think I should work as he feel I need to put my energy into school. I am restless with school however and want to get some much needed hospital exposure but not sure if I can balance work, school, and family and maintain decent grades or avoid having a breakdown. I am not a straight A student (nor do I care) but I am doing better than expected and feel that as long as my grades are at least where they are at currently (my guess would be above 3.0?), I can go to graduate school ASAP since I want my masters within 5 years. Fall classes start in a few days and I am already thinking of ways on how I am going to maintain. The summer semesters handed my a$% to me and I do not want the Fall semester to do the same.

So Anxious!

In two weeks I will be embarking on my new journey (a.k.a. nursing school) and I am so anxious! I waited so long to get to this point and now it seems surreal. I'm excited no doubt but I am also very nervous and a part of me is doubting my decision to make this career switch. What if I go to nursing school and don't like it? I am resigning so it's not like I really have the option of returning to my job, at least not in my current capacity. Or what if I like nursing but can't find suitable employment? It's competitive for every job and nursing is not a guaranteed thing like it once was. To make matters worst, I will probably only be limited to working day or afternoon shifts. What if I fail? A traditional nursing school is known for being challenging and I am enrolled in an accelerated program, while still caring for three kids, a husband and a dog! This is the first time in 14 years that I am going to school full-time and I most certainly won't be the youngest student. I understand that what I am feeling is natural but the closer I get to orientation, the more anxious I get. I just want to get this over with already!

Working Part-Time while in an Accelerated Nursing Program

Now that I have decided that I would be attending SUNY Downstate, I have been trying to figure out how I will adjust from working full-time for over a decade to eventually becoming unemployment, at least temporarily. My unemployment is by choice but it still feels a little weird nonetheless. I know I cannot work full-time while attending Downstate but maybe part-time or per-diem? Another student starting the program gave a glimpse of our possible schedule and the summer doesn't seem like an ideal time to work (unless I had no interest in having a life) but the Fall and Spring seems to be more feasible for working. I know me and there is no way I am not working for the entire duration of the program so I am pretty sure that I will be working a couple of days a week or obtaining some type of nurse externship next Summer (which also looks good schedule wise). I have a family though and need to allocate time to study so I won't use all free time for work but at least I will be doing something that will allow me to gain some practical experience.


Getting Certifications in Order

I have decided that I will work part-time or per-diem at some point when I enroll in school but I am not looking for just any part-time job. With my first go round at college I was inexperienced, young(er), and was willing to work just about anywhere; Now I am only interested in part-time hospital or healthcare positions since there is no way in hell that I am leaving my career and returning to school to work in retail (no offense to anyone in retail but I've been there done that and ain't doing it no more if I can help it). Many of the entry-level healthcare jobs require experience, relevant certifications or both; I lack experience so I am currently working on the latter. Initially I wasn't going to spend the extra funds on national certification for phlebotomy and EKG but I want to work and I already completed the 7 weeks of training for both skills so why not? Once I am done with the Medca exam, I will begin working on reinstating my lapsed CNA certification which basically means practicing my skills (I already warned hubby that I will be practicing on him and the kids) and taking the practice exams online and through Prometric. Does this guarantee that I would get employed in a healthcare facility? No but I have to do everything I can to prepare myself waaaaaay before I even take the NCLEX.

SUNY Downstate Accelerated Nursing Program!

After nearly 4 months of waiting and torture I finally got my decision from Downstate and I am in! I could not believe it when I saw the email link saying I was offered a place in the 2017 accelerated nursing program. I really wasn't sure which way it would go because I was not sure how competitive my grades and test scores were (remember I got B+ in both anatomy classes and my reading score on the TEAS was a mere 83%). In any event, other factors must have been in my favor, especially since I tried my best to give more than what was asked knowing that my grades were not super competitive. Submitting my application early probably worked in my favor as well. This is a really big accomplishment for me, especially since I was able to get into a program that accepts roughly 10-15% of their applicants. I must say I am very proud of myself because it was not easy for me to get to this point. I have to remember to thank the professors that submitted recommendations for me.

Downstate My Choice School

Since I have now been accepted to Downstate, I will no longer attend Lehman after I complete HIN 269 in about a weeks time. Lehman only accepted me for the generic program which is 2 years; I would much rather complete my BSN in 15 months, especially since I am already "old" and don't want to be out of work so long. Downstate is closer to me anyway, although BK traffic can be a beast at times. I have not ignored the fact that the accelerated program at Downstate has had mixed reviews but it also has a high NCLEX rate, not to mention one of the lowest tuition in the state so I will be working it out. I still haven't worked out the financial and childcare kinks as of yet but I already accepted my place in the 2017 class so I have 6 months to save as much as possible, make some budget cuts, and train my "tween" (who will be a teen) to take on a little more responsibilities. My real concern now is my job. I was hoping to take a leave of absence but since my reason for taking a leave is neither medical nor childcare related, my only option may be to resign which is going to be a lot more difficult than I expected since I will have been in my current profession for nearly 12 years by the time I leave.

Stressed Out

So this semester I registered for HIN 269 for Lehman College's nursing program and Pharmacology through Cayuga Community College (I was able to register even though I was not a nursing student at the school) and I must say I don't know if that was the best idea. I mean up until now I have been taking one course at a time and with good reason: I got a lot of @#&* going on. Now with two courses I am definitely overwhelmed, especially since pharmacology isn't exactly a fluff course. While I am optimistic in general, I am also a realist a I do not see me getting an A in either course; in fact I am hoping at this point for low B or high C. The good thing is that neither course will hinder admission for either Lehman generic nursing program or SUNY Downstate's accelerated nursing program, although may overall GPA (whatever it is) may drop some if I obtain just passing grades and the courses would be needed in the nursing portion of the programs. I was actually going to withdraw from pharmacology at around week two but opt to continue and now I am trying really hard not to regret my choice.

As far as the TEAS exam goes, I passed the reading and math with at least 80% which is the minimum for Downstate but I barely passed the reading with 83%. The TEAS was harder than the HESI to me for some reason but I still expected a little better of myself, at least in the upper 80s. The only "in" for me at Downstate is my math score (92%), my three letters of recommendation (only two were required) and my long, progressive work history in social services (not healthcare but definitely a nursing complement). I submitted my application since August in the hopes of getting an early decision but it seems like early is not going to be before December. In the meantime I'll just stress on until the semester is over.

Recommendation from Online Instructors

Is it possible to get letters of recommendation from an online instructor? Yes! I recently requested letters of recommendation from three professors, two of them being from online course instructors and at least one agreed to submit a letter of recommendation on my behalf! Honestly the interactions (at least for me) in an online course is almost identical to that of a brick-and-mortar course. The main difference obviously is the mode of communication but it goes to show that the quality of the interaction is more important than the type. As long as you "stand out" in some way the instructor can remember you. It also doesn't hurt that I received an A in the course either. I am kind of relieved because I have been very hesitant about requesting a letter of recommendation from my place of employment. It's not that I think a recommendation from my job would be bad or anything (in fact it would probably be very good I think) it just seems so awkward requesting recommendation from my employer when acceptance into the program could mean my potential resignation as well as me "spilling the beans" before I am ready to.

I was accepted...

but I was accepted into Lehman's generic nursing program, not the accelerated. I wasn't exactly surprised especially since everything I have heard and read up to now indicated that I needed roughly a 4.0 GPA in my prerequisite in order to gain admission into the accelerated program. In any event I decided to postpone/defer my application for Fall 2017. This will give me enough time to get some things in order (like finances and childcare), as well as put in my application for SUNY Downstate accelerated program for summer 2017. I really would rather do an accelerated program anyway but if the generic is all that is available to me, I would have to accept. At least I was accepted somewhere and the generic program may allow me to work part time and/or during the summer.

SUNY Downstate Accelerated Nursing Program

The SUNY Downstate application is massive! In addition to letters of recommendations, I need to take the  TEAS V exam, complete a personal statement and upload a whole bunch of stuff like transcripts, resume, etc. Volunteer experience seems like a big deal as well but I simple don't have any (at least not recent experience) so I am hoping that my long term work experience, even though its non-healthcare related, would suffice. I am also planning to get BLS certification (which I would need anyway as a nursing student) so at least I have something "medical" to include in my application. My plans to do EKG/phlebotomy training may be on hold because honestly its costly and I already have to pay for HIN 269 which I am taking in the Fall at Lehman as well as register for TEAS V exam, which is $115! That's over $1000 for both course and exam (not including books for the course) and all of this I am paying for out of pocket! EKG/phlebotomy is certainly not necessary for entrance into nursing school but I don't think these skills are stressed upon in nursing school. I do NOT want to be the nurse who continually pokes my patients with a needle because I don't know what I am doing (I had a nurse like that before and let's just say it wasn't pretty).